7 things only bunso will understand - The Filipino Times (2024)

Being a ‘bunso’, they say, is a blessing. What they do not know is that being the youngest among your siblings can also be a curse.

Here are 8 things that only a bunso will understand:

1- Parang bata ka lagi kung ituring ng pamilya
No matter what you do, you always have to assert that you’re already in the right age to do something. People, most of the time, define you by your age. Thus, you are limited from doing and expressing certain things.

Sociologist Clifford Sorita, however, said that a certain line should be drawn between perception and treatment in the context of the family’s view of the youngest child.

He stated that perception cannot be changed since no matter how you view it, order-wise, the youngest will always be the youngest. It is problematic when the treatment toward the youngest is like that of a child, though.

7 things only bunso will understand - The Filipino Times (1)

Sorita stressed that limiting the youngest child could have negative effects to the bunso – psychological and sociological.

He believes that if a family will always treat the youngest child as a kid, he/she will never get the opportunity to mature.

“When we say maturity, we talk about having a sense of responsibility and putting into mind that in every action, there is a consequence,” Sorita shared.

2- “Paalam ka din sa mga ate mo”
If you thought pleading your parents to allow you to go out with your friends at 6 in the evening is already hard, what more if they tell you, “Paalam ka din sa ate mo”?


Beyond the age and respect toward the elderly, this can also be explained by strong family ties.

According to Sorita, this mindset of parents is a way to teach their children to look after their siblings, despite the age.

“Sinasabi nila [parents] ‘yun kasi at a certain point, mawawala rin sila. Ang mga magulang, hinahanda nila ang kanilang mga anak na ‘yung bond nilang magkakapatid ay mas malakas so they would take care of each other,” Sorita explained.

“It’s really more on siblings looking after each other rather than the technicalities of who is older than who.”

3- “Abot mo nga ‘to, bili ka nga sa tindahan nito”
“Bunso, abot mo nga ‘to, abot mo nga ‘yan.”

This is a line that is no longer new to you, even if the television remote is literally within reach of the ate, kuya, nanay, or tatay. Despite this, you have to hold the anger inside and just do the task with a smile on your face.


This behavior from the older sibling is a reflection of their situation when they were in your position. The tendency for older siblings to display their authority toward you is based on their experiences.

Another thing is the norm that involves respecting the elderly. Kids are expected to follow, especially because their ates and kuyas are supposed to be role models.

4- Sobrang achiever nila Ate at Kuya, ang hirap ma-reach!
May people consider the eldest as the one holding the biggest pressure among the siblings. They are expected to help their siblings finish their studies and be good role models – all of these while thinking about their own future, too.

Being the bunso, however, feels like living inside a pressure cooker especially when your older siblings have already set the standards too high. You will always be compared to them and expected to at least level, if not surpass, their standards since you have a life considered to be easier than them.


It is, however, in this mindset that the concept of ‘individuality’ is lost, according to Sorita.

“Iba ‘yung nagbibigay ng gabay sa nag-se-set ng benchmark. Yun ‘yung mga bagay na gusto ng matatanda pero that doesn’t mean na ‘yung buhay mo ay i-pattern mo sa iba kasi every individual is unique.”

Sorita also attributed this mindset to the rebellious tendency of today’s generation, which he referred to as “reaction formation”. He stressed that older siblings are only there to guide their younger siblings and not define their life. He called for families to give more importance to individuality in the context of family life.

5- Feeling mo minsan napag-iiwanan ka na
One of the hardest things a bunso will experience is the feeling of being left out by his/her older siblings especially when the ate or kuya begin to enter new stages in their lives.

The youngest child is used to being in the company of their older siblings – both indoors and outdoors. When the older sibling starts to enter a new stage in their lives, however, say marriage, the tendency for the bunso is to feel left out and to some extent, become jealous.


When your ate gives birth to her first child, reality starts to set in that you are no longer the “baby” of the group and that your older sister now has a bigger responsibility in life that transcends you.

Sorita explained this in the context of problems. He said that families tend to shield the youngest child from family problems that is why the bunso would feel like he doesn’t know what is going on in the family.

6- “Napulot ka lang sa tae ng kalabaw!”
They say it’s always the panganay and the bunso who team up. When everyone teams up against the bunso, though, it already feels like the end of the world.

There are days when you look at family photos before you were born and your kuya will proceed to tease you about being an adopted child. As a young kid, you tend to believe it since they are showing you the family pictures and you’re not in any of them.


There are also days when your older sibling tells you that you’re only picked up from a cow’s poop.

Despite this, you are also the most protected one in the family. Your mother and father, with your ate and kuya will always make sure to give you the best.

7- Ikaw lagi ang bida!
The bunso is always the center of attention in family gatherings. The same tita will tell you “Uy, ang laki mo na ah!” every single time you meet them. This could be a hard task, especially keeping up with the names of everyone. Add to that the awkward moments whenever your mother “shares” your achievements to your relatives.

Sorita said that this is most especially true when the youngest child came to a family at a later stage in a parents’ life. He said that there is tendency for parents to teach the older siblings about their responsibility to look after the youngest sibling.


Despite this, Sorita stressed that parents should never forget their responsibilities for their older children to avoid misunderstanding within the family.

Moreover, Sorita said that the overprotective nature toward the “favorite” child can also hinder the pace of maturity of the youngest child.

Whether you are an ate or a bunso, what matters is the bond you share with your family. Recognize that there are things you learn from the elders while there are also things that you know, which can help your ate or kuya.


bunso youngest child

7 things only bunso will understand - The Filipino Times (2024)
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